It is not so easy, for one, to get out of the dualistic split. And this is not only because he is taught either to identify himself, or to fight, and not knowing, not understanding, never knowing the third point. Not only that. But also because he has a neural-chemical replanting, drug addiction. It is the same.
Because throughout life, such proteins and enzymes are formed from the state of resistance, enmity, fear, despondency. To these proteins and enzymes, the cells of the body, literally, are used to and experience this state as their own. That is, on the one hand, when such enzymes are allocated, the cells are depleted, and they spend their resources on a permanent recovery, scarification (I'll tell you in more detail later) to restore their burned, in a literal sense, plots. Such enzymes are produced from thought forms, which burn cells.
This is akin to the state of agony. That is, at the level of the body, the agonizing state is again an explosion of energy. And the explosion - it causes a state of very strong take-off, as it were a rise, an illusion of take-off. It's also like an alcoholic who has drunk since morning. On the one hand, the cells burn and die, on the other, they spill out such energy that a person experiences in the beginning an upsurge, satisfaction, revival. Similarly, there is a feeling of anxiety, sadness, despondency. All these hysterical, panic attacks have the same nature: protein, chemical dependence. How does this happen?
Even if they tell me about the integration of consciousness, and it does become wisdom for me, and I perfectly understand how to rise to awareness, and how to observe my states. But why do people so long and painfully disorientate with them? And why does it still happen that I'm literally looking for an excuse to experience the state of suffering?
Let's take a fresh example. After the end of the session with the student of mine, when we unearthed that his problem, which was for him a source of internal, supposedly pain, and when we all remodeled, he saw that this was all illusory, absurd and wild. But at the same time, he had nothing else to suffer. And he entered such a state of vacuum, an emotional vacuum, which began just then a physical breakdown. And he, because of the fact that he felt sad and unhappy, rushed about and could not think of what next thing to start to worry about. He hurried to the TV. There
he found a program about military actions, about murders and so on. Then exhaled with relief and said:
"Now that's it! I got my dose! "
When we work out of awareness and observe our states, we already have the courage to say that I, literally, have been put on a feeling of anxiety, that I want to experience it because my cells, my body, scream that You can not throw us off so sharply, we've lived like that all our lives! Therefore, people do not watch TV perfectly knowing that this is programming for constant fear, in order to maintain a constant slave state.
I, as a journalist, well remember the period when I was told that if I do a cultural event, and talk about children, admire them, then I will never be in demand as a journalist. We need blood, we need corpses. But if you make people happy, then they will not be riveted to the TV at all, and they will start doing whatever they want, everything they like, and whatever makes them feel good. So you, please, remember that the installation on television is 95% negative.
As a journalist in the past, I perfectly understand how many people are attached to protein dependence. And people always, for lack of reasons to blame something in his external current reality, can turn to the TV to "eat" everything from there that will revive the habit: "Now it's good! Because I feel very bad. "
5:00 If, for example, I have a disability setting (as usual), that no men likes me, because I'm ugly, mediocre, uninteresting, and so on. Then, it seems that what could be easier then make myself an interesting person at first? To ultimately become interesting to me in peace and peace with me? But nevertheless, in me there is some aspect that keeps me in this state. "No, it's useless, I can not do anything, I can not ..." Where does all this come from? Is this chewing snot?
These are secondary benefits. They are exist because this chemical reaction is sweet and useful to me. Despite the fact that this reaction is exhausting me, and that I'm sick of waking up in the morning, and in general, for what I live - it is not clear, at the same time, even when I tell myself
all this, I always savor it. Because on secondary benefits, there is always a mechanism in the subconscious that justifies why it's good, why it's good to suffer, why it's good to deny yourself, why it's good to resist reality, why it's good to watch TV. When it is obvious – that it is necessary to throw it (TV) away. Then the vibrations in the house will be different.
Why do I always do things that seem so easy to change? For example, turn off the TV, and take a book, filled with meditative music and so on. Everything, through what I could integrate and get fullness... but nevertheless, I continue to do this because it is protein, the chemical dependence is so strong that I constantly return myself to the arguments about the fact that when I suffer, it gives me a feeling of fulfillment. When I believe that I am zealously unhappy, it gives me a feeling of self-pity. And who will regret me except myself?
7:04 In fact, the so-called secondary benefits always work. Let's look at this architecture in detail. So, let's see how it's looped, how we always conclude with our thought form on secondary benefits. Example of the student: the guy did not react in any way as he should have supposedly reacted by showing her signs of attention.
And now I feel unnecessary, abandoned, rejected. I thought so, I knew that! Thought form:
"I knew that nobody needed me! Nobody needed me!"
How does the thought swing? Thought gives rise immediately to a sense of desperation, which is reflected somewhere here, in the breast area or can in the guts. I say all the time in the heart chakra - it's figurative. That is, I feel that nobody needed me.
We observe feelings. There is a chemical reaction of despair, for example. We call this so. In fact, living through this chemical reaction, we need to impose some interpretation on it and come up with a specific word. So, this is what is called? Is this an unpleasant feeling in the body? This is called despair.
When this chemical reaction is poured into the body, it triggers even more intensifying thoughts:
"Horrible! Life will pass! Nobody needed me! I'll be left alone!"
That is, the same thought is basically transformed into an even more grotesque, and already more spreading thought of the past, the present, the future, at all times.
How will we strengthen it now, form it?
"I will never be needed by anybody!" How to strengthen this idea? We need to make the project into the future for life. "I will never be needed by anybody, never, I will never be needed by anybody!" To this feeling of despair (the same thing, the very same chemistry) adds a new splash. We already call such a degree of despair as such a terrible orphanhood, such an endless gaping loneliness.
In fact, this is despair, which doubles at the level of chemistry. It just doubles. And we already call it loneliness. Loneliness. This condition. We say that this is conditionally everything. In fact, thought forms, there are also thought forms. Because of the chemical reactions in the body, the brain has to impose its word, its alphabetic association. Then, when we see such deep despair, loneliness, we see that the thought is also amplified:
"Lord, how to live? Why live?"
Thought: "Why live?"
Thought: "Why live? Why then do I live? God, God, how unhappy I am! Why then live?"
We observe in the body. There are so many reactions throughout the body that extend to the forearms, the back of the head. The back of the head - where pinching is the strongest in people, and most of all from this. Then is comes here, along the hands. That is, the whole body already has such vibrations, such anxiety, SOS, SOS, SOS! Something must be done! What to do?
Die? It's early to die. So, what should I do? It is necessary simply to fall completely into this feeling, that is, in the deepest despair, which then expands in time and it already becomes a depression.
So, further. When I fell into a depression, I'm so lonely, and I do not like myself, and so I'm deeply unhappy,... what do I do to get out of here? I really do not want to die. So, what do I need to do? Why am I at all, am I in a long desperation? After all, I can, in fact, realize that this is all come from my thought forms!
Can I actually realize this without having any special knowledge or tools? Is there some aspect in me that says that I understand that this is the tracing-paper of my mind? There is! Because each of us has a higher I that was not going anywhere. And awareness, in fact, do not learn. It does not go anywhere. The question is how much the white noise of the mind obscures our awareness and who you are. You are awareness and a pure field of creative consciousness, an endless unified consciousness. But nevertheless, in you there is a certain layer that covers it and creates for you such a reality.
Such a small reality with respect to the boundless creative field, but such a tenacious. Why? Because I have so-called secondary benefits, by which I justify everything. Why is it profitable for me to think that I will never be needed by anybody? Because it gives me a feeling of abandonment. Why do I benefit from a sense of abandonment? Because I can feel sorry for myself. And why should I feel sorry for myself? Because the feeling of pity gives me a certain feeling of refinement, some depth.
And when I get a sense of depth and awareness of my depth, it gives me compensation for the feeling of inferiority. That is, when I feel defective, I can strengthen this feeling even more, then think even more, yes, look, see what you have lost. I'm so unhappy, that's what's going on with me. Who did this to me? The whole world! Why? This God, this world !? Why do I continue to be in this state of deep depression? Why do I lie in bed and say: nothing will help me?
Because that's the only way I can reach, supposedly, to the world, and say: see how I suffer? And who is suffering? It's not just that a person suffers, but a very delicate, deep person suffers. Reflection is the destiny of what kind of people? Not ordinary people, but subtle. And joy, fun, serenity - it's only fools all the time rejoice.
It turns out that at my level of thought forms, chemistry, neurons - all this web, which keeps me in the benefits of constantly tumble into this state. Take for example splitting, which is then given the diagnosis of schizophrenia. I work fine with all these diagnoses. This is also one of the forms of grotesque. Although the love grotesque is where the grotesque ego strive for publicity. But in the end - it's grotesque, demonstrative leads a huge number of people to death and suicides. And we know that all the consequences of these grotesques are associated with a very subtle game, with the loss of life and death.
In general, life itself is already death inside life. Such a life, when I'm enslaved here in this, and I justify myself with the secondary benefits that in fact - it's great. So, the trap is that the more I feel unhappy, the more I feel unhappy, I am convinced that I am very uneasy and exalted. And polarity, in itself already from a state of absolute despair, passivity, apathy, still brings a person satisfaction because it is such a way of survival.
The brain always finds secondary benefits in order to justify for what reasons it's good that I myself am an aggressor: because the best defense is an attack. Or why is it good that I am deeply depressed? Because I do not rebuff anyone. I am such a person who is substituting the second cheek. Although substituting the second cheek is a completely distorted understanding of what was said in the scriptures. We will also talk about this.
That is, I can in everything, in every aspect of suffering find a lot of benefits.
Homework: Choose any circumstance from your life that you are used to treating as negative. Write a list of why you really benefit from this. Be honest. The arguments in the list will be at least 5. We will work with it in the next lesson.
Another task is very important. Now, in order to integrate hemispheres, since after such a limited and primitive school training we turned out to be just one-sided hemispheric, it is very important
to develop both hemispheres. As children, ambidextrous, which they write with two hands. It is very desirable for us to become ambidextrous. Practice writing with the hand that you do not use most. If you do not use your hand to write, at this time, but only print; then it’s even more important to keep writing with both hands as much as possible.
Select each day for half an hour or an hour, but at least for half an hour, for a certain time, and write down your thoughts. It can be in the form of diary entries. Probably, most likely there will be skidding of ideas when will use your regular hand. Therefore, if thoughts stall and write does not work, let's say if you are right handed and practice your left hand, then just rewrite something.
Most importantly, continue to write every day. Write with your priority hand for about five minutes, and 25 minutes with another hand. Gradually go to the same time for 15 minutes with each hand. This is a very important practice. Observe what sensations are come up at the level of thought forms, at the level of the body. It will be great if you share your impressions, observations from this particular practice. And also from the subsequent other practices that I will give you.